The Inflatable Couch

2011-03-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to the couch everyone. It's been 8 months since my last post. We are a little less than a month away from our first child and are very excited. March 22 was my moms birthday and we have had a Bon Jovi concert in our sights since December. Being 3 to 4 weeks away from Krissy's due date I thought it best that she stay home. She was pretty bummed but agreed that it was probably for the best. March 22, 8:00 Bon Jovi takes the stage. Opened with their hit song Blood on Blood. Didn't stop rockin until almost 11:00. It was one of the greastest performances I have ever watched. I pulled my phone out around 9:00 to get some pictures and found that my battery had totally died. After a long walk back to the hotel I plugged my phone in to make sure it was charged for me in the morning. I turned it on to see if any one had messaged me. My phone went into frenzy of missed calls and text messages. Krissy's water had broken around 9:30 and had been trying to get a hold of me! It was the very early stages of labor and they estimated her giving birth in the afternoon on Wednesday. I decided to leave for home anyway knowing I couldn't sleep knowing Krissy was going through this 160 miles away.

My Angel

Heather, Krissy's best friend to the rescue. When Krissy could not get a hold of myself or my mom she turned to Heather. Krissy's mom being more than 2 hours away was little more help than I so Heather came over to assess the situation. Heather brought Krissy to the hospital and never left Krissy's side until I and our midwife arrived at 3:00 A.M. Heather coached Krissy to about 5 cm like a pro! I owe more to Heather than I could possibly give. She was there when I could not be and did a better job then I could have anyway. Heather having to work in 3 hours went home to a sick husband to try and get some sleep and awaited word from me.

WITHOUT so much as an Advil to help her with the pain of labor Krissy gave birth to Payton Lynn Iwakiri at 4:43 A.M Wednesday morning. Being only 36 weeks along Payton still weighed in at a healthy 6 lb 8 oz and was 20 inches long. We are all home now and Payton and mom are doing fantastic. Krissy's recovery is like nothing I have seen before. Krissy is already back to her normal self, it's like she never even went through labor! Payton is feeding and sleeping and most of all letting mom and dad sleep so I honestly could not be any happier! Praise God for everything he has done for me!

The Late Inflate

2010-07-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

It's been 8 months since my last inflate and now two of my closest friends have been "late." That's right 2 people "knocked up" in under 8 months. There have been stars gained and weight lossed, temple recs earned and temple recs... well you get the picture. Barriers have been torn down and fences have been put up. 2010 the year of the goat or is it the lamb, not really sure I'm only half Asian. I do know the year is flying by and the bitter sting of Idaho winter will soon be upon us. Where to start, guess I should start with a recap. There was a christmas party with some liqure, and two mormons who needed to release all the pressure their lives have brought them. I know what your thinking, who is it who is it. Well of course I'm going to tell you, no secrets here on the couch. It was Jennie and Todd, that's right boozing it up at the Christmas party, and you know what? I have never seen them happier. They were so happy they drove home (bad) did some cookies, hopped on the good foot, did the bad thing and got prego. Congrats to Jennie and Todd for the little one on the way. Early in the year, we lost our dear goathead to the loan dept. 6 weeks later goathead returned to his home at the Alameda branch. I joined a gym with some friends and Racquetball began. Racquetball is a very unique sport that I never really gave consideration too. It's got everything a person loves about any sport and puts it all together. Most people see racquetball and think Tennis. First, the only thing Racquetball has in common with tennis is a racket and a ball. Tennis requires years of practice and professional traing to be able to play without chasing that stupid ball all over the court. Now Racquetball lets you walk in as a complete newb and hit that ball as hard as you can and the other person HAS to go get it. It's also the only sport where you can hit your friend with a 150MPH ball and the only thing that happens is a REDO. It's great for friendships and excercise however, not so good on your back. If there is one thing racquetball has taught me, it's that I'm old. What kind of crazy idea is stretching before activity? A very good one turns out, my old age has been defeating by a bit of stretching. That's right ladies no more $50 bottle of face dewrinkle cream. Just stretch!!!!

Sometime between last Septmember and June, Justin AKA the Goathead. Remember no secrets.... has become comfortable enough as my friend to start asking me for things. "hey Ty the O2 senser in my car is blown""Hey Ty, the Mazda isn't running well" "Hey Ty I think the Mazda needs it's brakes fixed" "Hey Ty I think I'm 8 months over due for an oil change" Hey Ty I just got 8 grand and I need to build a fence can you help?" Sure Justin, what do you mean by help? "Means about 15 hours of hard labor in 90 degree heat" Oh sure!!!! "Hey Ty my computer is all messed up can you help?" Wow Justin that is a lot of favors, what can you do for me Justin? "Well you know Ty I can do you the best favor possible" Oh yeah whats that Justin? "Find me a pool and I'll show you"........... It seems its the same song and dance everytime... In the world where Stars and Merrits reign supreme, there is nothing greater than having a baby. It now seems the goathead as concieved his first child and we are 9 months away from the next chapter.

What's to come.....? Well if you ask my wife she will say baby making overtime. I feel for her, she has been wanting to be a mom for 5 years now, she has had some miscarriages in her first marriage and it's her time. I'm also taking a trip to SLC with 5 mormons, so stay tuned for the next inflate.

"I Swear I'm not Crazy"

2009-11-17T08:53:00.001-08:00

Late one Friday night two employees found that a mysterious camera was recording the drive through teller station. These employees are not new by any sense of the word and found it very interesting that they have not stumbled on this camera angle in the past. "It all the sudden just showed up on the monitor." Wait wait wait wait, I know what your thinking. Your thinking this is the inflatable couch why haven't you told us who these employees are? The answer is just quite simple, however you are quite correct, this is the inflatable couch and there are no secrets. It was Cathy and Jennie, and they were so bothered by this discovery that Monday morning they sent the rest of the staff on a goose chase to find the mysterious camera. Come to find out the mysterious camera did not exist. Cathy and Jennie were immediately pronounced LOONIES. A week went by and the mysterious camera had not made an appearance. Jennie and Cathy still plead their sanity to us but the pleas were not answered. The camera still keeping its stealth avoided detection as well as a sasquach. Until it met a goat head and a caucasianAsian. Late Monday night we hear a scream from the break room. "I'm not crazy I'm not crazy" the scream echoed. Goat head and myself ran to see what the fuss was about. The camera had made its visible again. There is stood shining so blurry at the drive one teller station. Goat head and I tore apart ceiling panels, light fixtures, teller stations, even the slightest peep hole in a wall was not left unchecked. After about 25 minutes of searching Goat head was in need of some (............) lets just say he needed to get home to his wife. So our search unsuccessfully had to come to an end. Until I saw my reflection in the drive through window. Then it hit, the camera was not hidden, it was right in front of our faces. The blurry image that was projected was a reflection off the drive through window because it was so dark outside. This explained why the camera never showed itself in the day time. Jennie was relieved that she was indeed not crazy and Justin "Goat Head" could perform that night without distraction of the mysterious camera.

Goat Heads and Kidney Stones

2009-10-21T10:20:00.001-07:00

The term deflated never seems to strike someone as being a positive adjective. We always associate deflated with depresed or even a flat tire. It's been brought to my attention that the couch has now made the deflated list. The times has come to inflate the deflated couch. So a lot has happened since smokey. There was an offage, a man dog, a kidney stone and goat head. Do to a misterious offage of an undisclosed amount of money we obtained a goat head. We had another teller decide that Advantage Plus credit union offered a better carrier path so we obtained a Robyn. With goat head and Robyn in place we decided to have the first 2009 man dog feast. This lead to meeting a Todd, a way cool cat from a town called downey. I know what your thinking.. Downey where is that? Honestly I can't tell you where its at. I recommend getting a travel guide and asking for directions. I'm guessing you wont have to pay to park there.
So I bet your asking yourself what a goat head and a kidney stone have to do with the couch. Well besides being capable on deflating a couch in a hurry they have been pretty much the only thing exciting to happen the CU in a while. The Kidney stone took out our chief teller for a good 4 days or so. There has always been that classic debate you know the one I'm talking about. What hurts worse child birth or getting kicked in the crotch. This debate was thought to never be solved because a man could never give birth and a women getting kicked in the crotch just doesn't have the same affect. Jennies little episode has brought us closer to putting a close on this debate. What is that you ask? well we still don't know what hurts worse kick in the balls or child birth but we now know that Kidney stones hurt worse that both. You heard that straight from the inflatable couch.
Goat head.... Goat head... Goat head.... that's whats on your mind now I know. Well to ease your curiosity I will tell you it's not the head of a goat. It's not even one of those little poky things that get caught in your sock while hiking through the desert that is Downey. You know I have to tell you who the goat head is right... It's the couch and we don't keep secrets on the couch. The goat head is our newest teller Justin. He is very hard working fun to be around and will sometimes remind you of walking through 5 miles of weeds in downey with a poky in your sock. Big news today, Justin gets married tomorrow. A convert mormon with not so much as a porn video as a reference he ventures into the act of marriage. Stay tuned for the next inflate as we could have a good one as we finish this topic.

Smokey the bear doesn't like corn nuts

2009-08-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Beer, more beer, man steak, hot dogs, hamburgers, corn nuts, lawn chair, and a river. What more does a guy need to get away from it all? A visit from a special friend, you already know we don't keep secrets when on the couch so I'll just tell you who it was. It was Smokey himself, only he wasn't here to make sure my camp fire was out. He came to eat a loaf of bread, and keep me from sleeping the rest of the night. You know if he was that hungy he could of just came up to me in the middle of the day and asked me politely for some food, I would of probably give him something. Instead he thought he would be a sneaky bear and come at 2 in the morning while I was having a man nap.

My wife wakes me up at 2:30 A.M "Ty I think there is something outside out tent." At first I thought it was just a chipmunk or a fox, we see those all the time. Maybe even a deer but then I heard one of our 60 lb coolers tip over, and I knew right then it had to be Smokey. I kick my sleeping bag off because I couldn't find the stinking zipper, grabbed a flashlight, and unzipped a window on the tent. I shined the light out the window and sure enough there was Smokey caught red handed with a loaf of bread. He had tipped over one of our food totes and went through our dry food. He tried the wifes nasty pancake mix (glad I'm not the only one that doesn't like it) and decided to move on to tortilas and corn chips. Smokey must be suffing from nasal congestion from all that smoke or something because he completely left alone my man steak and my corn nuts. I'm going back up to the same spot this weekend we shall see if I have another visit from Smokey. I hope you enjoyed your stay on the inflatable couch.

Memorial Day Weekend

2009-05-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

Golf, Beer, and Man Steak!! repeat as needed is how memorial weekend is supposed to be spent!! However it was stopped short do to THE TRENCH Rocks Rocks Rocks Rocks Rocks. Took 12 hours to dig the trench for the sprinkler line. Now I know why they charge so much to install one of these things!!!!

STUMPEN

2009-05-06T08:37:00.001-07:00

So I recently decided to attempt to put in a sprinkler system in my back yard. However, do spoil my wonderful plan lay the remains of a peach tree. Thats right a STUMP!!! We'll call it a stump because thats what everyone seems to be calling them these days. For the past 4 days this stump has been the bane of my exsistance. I hate very few things but I really hate this stump. The peach tree that once stood 5 years ago was not very big so I got a bid from a contractor to remove the stump. $300, are you kidding me I was not about stoop that low and pay someone that kind of money. So like a good 1/2 Asian late Sunday afternoon I grabbed a shovel and went to work. Between rocks and roots it took me about 2 hours of tough Japaneese labor to reveal about 5 decent sized roots. I thought to myself "this will all be over tomorrow" so Monday I grabbed an axe and went to work. Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop ChopChop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop. Another 3 hours later on a wet Monday evening after a long day of work all of the roots were chopped. Ha Ha I said this stump will be no more I just need to pull it out. "Ha Ha" The stump said to me as I tried furiously to pull the rootless stump out. Nothing, I called it a night when it started getting dark. Yesterday, Tuesday evening after an 8 hour shift at work I decided to borrow a chainsaw "ha ha" I thought to myself this is it for the stump. As the POS chainsaw sunks its teeth into the stump I heard the poor stump cry out in pain. Little did I know the STUMP had sarcasm. I didn't get 2 inches into the stump when the chainsaw started smoking and cutting out. The Chainsaw and myself once more were defeated. I was not going to waste another night on this stump. I put the saw away and went inside and watched IDOL. I lost sleep last night do to wondering how I will defeat the stump

NEIGHBORS

2009-04-29T06:23:00.000-07:00

On Sunday Krissy and I aquired a truck. We didn't pay for the truck because it was given to us. Before you start thinking for a second that we are lucky think again. The person who gave us this truck we'll call her Katie, why because that is her name, you should know by now there are no secrets here and because there are no secrets I will tell you that Katie is Krissy's mom. Wow bet you didn't see that coming. So we get the truck on Sunday with a few complication that annoy the hell out of me but you don't get to hear about that yet. We get the truck into town and park it across the street and yesterday we got it registered and insured.

Last night we get a phone call from Krissy's parents stating that there is an irrate ladie on the the phone who is demanding they move their truck. Well they live in Gooding and the truck isn't theirs anymore so no they wont move the truck. She also called and cursed out Krissy's grandma because she broke into the truck broke the glove compartment and found a ten year old registration from my dead grandpa. So she harrassed krissy's grandpa and mother and threatened to have the truck towed. Its been there two days!!

So hear is the question I have for you. Should I move the truck?
She can't tow it. It's leagally parked, registered, and insured. It doesn't effect her at all because they have a street and a driveway on the other side of the block. They have lived there for 3 years and I have never seen a car parked there ever! I don't park it on my side of the street because the only place to put it is right in front of a stop sign and I'm pretty sure an accident would probably result from people either not seeing the sign or not seeing on comming traffic coming from the other street. If the ladie was more polite about the whole thing I would think of something else to do with the truck but since she was an ass and broke the glove compartment and I think she still has some old registration information she hasn't put back. I think i'm going to leave the truck there. What do you think?

2009-04-14T07:49:00.001-07:00

Teller Defeats TCD
On April 13, 2009 a teller, we'll call her Jennie. Why? because that is her name, recovered from TCD "Teller Consuming disorder." We are so glad to have her back, things were just too quiet here without her. Jennie makes the second teller in 4 weeks to defeat TCD and return back to work. Another teller we'll call her Jordyn, why? You know why by now, defeated a more mild case of TCD a little over a week ago. I'm thinking we may now have a cure for TCD. Its seems like time away from work (which happens to also be a symptom of TCD) actually speeds recovery. Congrats to Jennie and Jordyn!!

RARE SICKNESS CLAIMS TWO TELLERS

2009-03-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

Everyone loves mondays right?? This monday was especially good for me... (this is where I would use my sarcastic voice)

"I hope they have their fun today becuase its their turn to run the show by themselves tomorrow" -Kathy Mraz

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←←←←← Empty Teller Line

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So I get to work Monday morning @ O 800 hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Kathy comes up to me in a grave voice and says "I have bad news" Its Monday so anything can happen. She says " We're on our own today, two tellers have been claimed by a rare teller consumer disease" This came as quite a shock. We will call the two tellers Jennie and Jordyn. Why? because thats their names, no secrets here.

So we are part way through this Monday and time is going by so slow. All I can do is sit here hope for a slow business day and wash my hands often in prevention of the Teller Consuming Disease, more commonly known as "TCD"

Bad things happen to good people

2009-03-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

So I'm new to this whole blog thing. So i'm just going to say whats on my mind and possibly get some feed back. So this is me and my story.

Last December my wife Krissy graduated from the education program at ISU. She has worked pretty hard for the last 6 years to get this degree, why did it take her so long? She worked full time for about 5 out of those 6 years. So now that she is done with school its time for her to find a job. The semester has already started so nobody is really hiring teachers, so there is only really substituting available. Subing is really hit and miss, as you could imagine. Very difficult to try and manage income when you don't know where it will be. So thats the background, I'm probably boring you but no one is making your read this..... On Jan 18th of this year there was a first grade teacher at Washinton school decided to walk out on her job one Friday afternoon. Nobody knows for sure why, although there are rummors of affairs with students parents and a possible devorce with her own husband. No one knows the exact answer, but at any rate that leaves the first grade without a teacher. Krissy applied interviewed and got the job. The title is a long term sub that would be there for the rest of the semester (May.) Finnally we got our big break!!! By the way we are going to call this former 1st grade teacher "Tiffany" why? because thats her name, no secrets here. So Tiffany walked out on her job for so called "personal" reasons. Now Tiffany has about a months vacation she has to burn before she needs to return to her classroom. ( we have to pause here for a second. How many of you reading this can say that if you walked out on your job you would have one when you wanted to come back? In my experience of employment if you walked out on the job you were pretty much quitting right then and there.) Ok so back to the story. So her 1 month is up and its time for her to return to her classroom which puts Krissy out of a job. (crappy I know) However, Tiffany decides that 1 month isn't long enough. She puts in an appeal with the school district for 6 weeks disability leave. So guess what? She gets it!!! unbelievable!!! There goes some more of our tax money to pay for someone to avoid work because of a mental state that was self inflicted......... Last Friday March 20th was the end of her 6 week "extented" leave. Tiffany was expecting to get her classroom back and finish out the year. Wrong! You don't have to be intelligent to guess that Tiffany wasn't a very good teacher. She had no patients with kids, she was a very unorganzied slob, she was also very disliked by students, parents, and even staff. We knows this because it all came out during parent teacher conferences that were held 3 weeks ago. So to us its a blessing for the kids, parents, staff, and especially Krissy to be able to finish out the year as their teacher. She is paid based on 7.5 hour days, she usually puts in close to 9 or 10 everyday. She even goes in on weekends to make sure she does everything she can to turn what was a miserable learning environment to a fun one. (letters from the parents prove that she is doing what she set out to do) She has also invested close to $200.00 in the form of DVD's, treats, games, decoration, rewards bulliten boards, ect... in an attempt to help make 1st grade fun for the kids.

Over the past month the principal has told Krissy to box up all of Tiffany's things and put them in a supply closet when she decides to come back to the school and get them. Its the middle of spring break so no one is at the school, so last night Krissy got one of those feelings that she needed to go to the school and see if Tiffany decided to get her stuff. She was horrified to see that not only did she come and get her stuff but she stole a lot of Krissy things including; DVD's, treats, decorations, books that belonged to the school, learnign supplies that belonged to the school such as white boards, even her desk and chair. To make things worse before she left she decided to trash and vandalize the whole classroom. Last but not least she took Krissy's bullitin board that she just got done spending $20 on and in its place stapled 2 smiley faces on the wall.

She spent the majority of the evening and night crying and asking me what we should do. Any ideas....